Honestly, I can say that I have had one of the worst days of my life today. Well, I guess it could have been worse, way worse. Things can always be worse than what they are. I am not homeless or without food so yes, things can be way worse. This blog post has absolutely nothing to do with this blog title but I need to vent and have no other way to do it at the moment. I guess I could take a hot shower or lock myself in the bathroom and scream at the top of my lungs, but that doesn’t seem sufficient enough because I have more steam than that. I am going to call this entry a “dear diary” entry. Okay, why have I had the worst day? Let me begin this grotesque story with an introduction. My name is Stacy and I am from a tiny little hell hole in the middle of nowhere. That’s enough to piss someone off right there. But that’s not why I am feeling this way, I will get to it, promise. I have three wonderful amazing children, just typing that sentence made me smile so there’s a start to making me feel slightly better. I am a single mom and have to work twice as hard at everything that I do. So, I have been trying to put a website together, nothing fancy, just thought that I would try my hand at the whole niche site thing; I have been reading a lot about it. I am confined to my home for a while because of a recent lay off at work and am in need of some desperate income. So I thought, “what the hell”, I would give it a go. A little background information, I have no experience in this field what-so-ever. Actually, In a kind of funny way, the funny being a ditsy blonde way, (sorry if I offended any blondes out there with that sentence, but I am a ditsy blonde on occasion) I just never really got into the whole computer thing. I of course know the basics, Facebook, twitter, and YouTube. I have been working really hard on this website and driving myself crazy trying to figure out all of the lingo to it. I am getting there, I think. I have a bad tendency to start things and then give up when it doesn’t go my way. I need to fix that part about myself and I will be the first to admit that. I have kids! That’s a feature that I definitely don’t want my children to establish from their mother. I get on to them for not following through yet not following through is one of my biggest flaws. And I guess with that comes the fact that I am a supposed hypocrite as well. And trust me, I don’t want to be a hypocrite or teach my children to be hypocrites. I am straying from the point, majorly. I have very little income right now and have been trying like crazy to keep my head above the water. And lately I haven’t been floating very well. I never was a good swimmer anyways. Seems like I never really learned to swim at all lately. Life is hard, there I said it. I am not one to admit failure or show my weaknesses. I am not allowed to. When you have children you need to teach them to be strong no matter what life throws their way. And that is exactly what I intend to do, just not today. Today I will say it a million times, life is hard. As I was sitting in my bedroom, working on my website, had just gotten my 9 month old to sleep for a nap, the boys to school earlier, and I hear a loud truck outside of my house. I run to the window, and what do I see? The start of a really bad day. My poor, pathetic, little beat up, white car being towed away. Away to the car lot that I had purchased it from 1 year prior. My knees felt week and ragged, as if I were a 90-year-old woman who laid in bed for a whole year and then tried to get up. I felt sick and dizzy and mad and sad and so many other emotions. It was as if I was a waste container just getting filled to the brim with a million different disgusting substances, and then had over flowed onto the floor. I just felt helpless. What was I going to tell the boys when they saw me standing there at the front door of the school and not sitting in the parking lot in the car waiting for them to come out? Would they be mad at me, feel sorry for me, or for themselves? I guess I would find that out a few hours down the road. For now, I had to figure out what the hell had just happened and why? I was only 7 days late on my payment. I know people who have went months without paying their car loans and were still driving them. What in the hell was going on? First of all, I bought the car from a local car lot, a “hole in the wall” if I must say. It was a family owned place and had been here since the start of all of this. “This” meaning this ancient town that seized to grow anymore at all since the flood in 1984. So, it started tiny, and it stayed tiny. I pick up my phone, hands shaking so bad that I could barely dial the numbers, and called the place I was now referring to as where the devil lived. Why would they do this to me, they know that I have 3 kids and I told them that I wasn’t working right now and would be late on my payment this month. Well when the lady answered I was at a loss for words. “Ummm hi, is my car there?” That’s exactly what I said. As if they would know that it was me, I mean how many cars do they repo on a daily basis, they should have known.
Well, my baby just woke up from her slumber. This is officially a “to be continued…..”